


Ineffable bonds

by Angelscythe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AkuSai Month, Fluff, Headcanon, I love them so much, Kingdom Hearts Headcanons, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 07:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19719166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: At the moment Saïx disappear, Isa find back his humanity.But lost something in return.His only wish, after that, is to find back the one he loves. Or, at least, to know he's happy...(The awesome art inside has been made by @Naotoosh_art)





	Ineffable bonds

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY AKUSAI DAY!!!!
> 
> (Also, english isn't my native language and I've dislexia, sorry if there is too much errors in this text...)

“Lea!”

Saïx suddenly woke up, breaking the dark mist surrounding him. He tried to reach the Light he had seen in this Realm of Darkness but his hand closed on the emptiness.

There was nothing.

He realized through a veil of excruciating pain that he was on a white and cold floor. Alone. His hands shook against the ground.

Of course, he was alone.

He was the one who had destroyed everything. He was the one who was stupid enough to stay in the Organization XIII because he thought it was the only solution he had…

As more pain passed through him, Saïx looked down and pressed his hand over his left pectoral where so much anguish was coming from. When he realized why it was coming from there, where it exactly come from, he could only freeze.

This ache was coming from his _Heart_.

He was Isa again. He had a Heart. Finally… Finally, he had a Heart! He could feel again… Feel the loneliness and the lost. But feel…

The last time, he didn’t get the chance to enjoy his retrieved Heart because Xehanort had stolen it again from him. But now… Now, he had one. This pain was awful but as it was also making him feel more alive than ever, he could only enjoy and embrace it…

Through the veil of aches, though, he noticed the clothes, too short. The clothes he was wearing when he had lost his Heart.

Twice.

The clothes, too short, that allowed him to see the scars on his torso. Him who was seeking any Keyblade wielder in the vain hope to have back a Heart, so he could offer it again to the only person deserving it, he had been defeated by a Keyblade wielder. Twice. Such an irony…

He brushed the marks on his belly. Two red and long marks. Crossing each other to create a big X.

Obviously.

Treacherous reminder of what he had done. Of every error he did…

He opened the vest that was about to tear itself, distended by the muscles, and threw it on the floor as soon as he could. He pushed down the collar of his poor shirt, on the edge of shredding itself around the muscles, to watch part of his body, to watch his left shoulder.

There was nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

“Lea…” he breathed out.

At this exact moment, he had only one thing, one person, in his mind.

Lea.

He had to reach him. By every means.

He didn’t only want to see him but needed to.

There were so many things his _Heart_ needed to say to him.

If he did not have that chance, he wanted at least to reach him, see him… protect him.

He got up in his now too tight pants and his shirt let appear part of that new combined scars.

Isa could feel his legs struggling to keep him up but he walked anyway toward the door, his hand extended so he could reach anything if he fell… He moved through the tiny footbridge, his fingers shaking along the barrier. He thought only about Lea. He had to find a way to reach him. If ever he was able to open a Corridor of Darkness… However, he felt like his energy had been totally aspired.

He passed through the door and stumbled in Ansem’s old office, full of memories.

He would certainly have fallen if two hands didn’t grab him and lead him to the chair.

“Saïx?”

He shook his head.

“I’m Isa,” he said. “I’d like to see Lea. Please, tell me he’s already here.”

He looked up at Ienzo who was bending toward him, just next Aeleus who had brought him to a seat. Isa wasn’t very confident there. He had made them kill. By Lea, or Axel… whatever.

The point was that they died because of him and he felt the weight of the horror he had done more than ever. He suffered them since the day he left Axel, in the World that Never Was, but now… They were in the right to hate him and want him dead.

“Lea? He’s not there. He went to the confrontation against the Xehanorts.”

Yes, Isa knew that. That was the last time he saw him, when he fell into his sweet embrace, feeling his warm, his… love.

But now?

Xemnas could have ended him. Or worst…

“I’ve to reach him,” he said.

He lifted his hand, seeing it shiver as he was trying to open a Corridor.

“Stop!”

Ienzo grabbed his hand to prevent him from doing that. He wouldn’t be able to bear the Darkness, especially not in this state.

Isa quivered. He knew his body was in a sad state.

“Let me do,” he said with a tired tone.

“Certainly not.”

“I have to see, Lea!”

“You have to nothing,” Ienzo replied. “Except resting yourself.”

Isa felt a burst of rage that rolled in his guts in a tight ball as he remained, in appearance, very calm.

“Do you have any news from him?”

Ienzo shook his head.

“However, I believe you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re here. So I guess the fight is going on our friends’ direction?” Ienzo replied.

Isa stared at him.

“You did… fight, right?” the young scientist suddenly wondered.

“Yes, I fought.”

Now that they were going on this point, that he was seeing Isa’s general state, Ienzo wondered how it was possible. Saïx used to be one of the strongest members of the Organization. He always ranked him just after Lexaeus.

“Who killed you?”

“I let Roxas and Xion do it…”

He looked down but that wasn’t shame…

When he had seen Roxas and Xion protecting Lea, in their own way, while he was still trapped under Xemnas’ thrall… Forever… He just hadn’t been able. He had almost killed Lea because of this control. He wasn’t worthy enough…

He had done his best to just… free himself from everything, contain himself and prevent from hurting the love of his life more.

He had already hopped to die in this battle so he wouldn’t have to disappoint Lea, wouldn’t have to continue on a path he hated, trying to reach what he couldn’t… But when he had realized that all the strength he had gained, he couldn’t even use it to protect what mattered really…

He had just wanted to die and let those who seemed to care more do it for him…

“I see…” Ienzo said. “Though, it’ll be better for you to rest.”

“I wish to help Lea and…”

“I get it,” the young scientist replied with a firm tone but yet a soft smile. “But it will be better for you to rest,” he repeated. “Imagine what will happen if you arrive there in your state.”

Isa looked up at him, showing incomprehension.

Because all he could see was an ending in suffer and the blood.

Ienzo sighed slowly. “Think about Lea?”

“You think… Lea would be worry to see me?”

“Of course he would be.”

Isa doubted very much of this because, though he had felt his warm in his last moment, though he had seen the worry and the tears in his eyes. But Lea had always been really emotive hence the reason why those upside-down tears were important.

Though… Isa had always been ready to handle his emotions, fake or real, and help him. Even without his owns emotions.

He just wanted… to do the best for Lea.

All he got from that was errors, honestly.

“Very well,” he said, laying down his weapons to Ienzo. “I’ll do as you wish…”

“Thank you very much. Rest yourself or…” He moved his hands to the stack of books still leaning pell-mell in the office. “… perhaps you can help us if you can’t stay still.”

“Yes. Of course.”

Isa wasn’t against it at all. At least, it would keep his mind busy because he could only think about Lea. What was going on for him? Was he in danger? Would he really be worried to see him? Would he really be happy to see him? Axel had left him and when the things were already unbearable back this time, it was just an excruciating pain, right in his Heart, now…

Minutes passed.

Hours passed.

Though he still felt pain in his Heart and belly, Isa was doing his best to keep concentrate on the books, on the sheets he had to classify. He had done that for so many years and often, his mind was bouncing to Lea again.

Again and again.

Of course Lea was filling his mind.

Every word could throw back his train of thought to him… Every breath was for him. Every beat of his Heart…

He turned another page when he felt a burst of aches above his Heart. Not in the pectoral area but more toward the shoulder…

He pressed his fingers to the zone. His nails slightly dug on his skin as the book fell on the floor. Ienzo turned his head toward him just to see Isa get up. Though he almost fell, his body being still weak, Isa moved to the door.

“Isa?”

“I’m coming back,” he replied, distractedly.

As he walked, he could feel the pain grew bigger in his shoulder. It wasn’t much but he could notice it anyway.

“Is…”

But the former Second-in-Command just ignored the young scientist as he walked in the corridors. His naked feet avoided by themselves the remains of the shattering walls were no one had judged good to do some cleaning.

And he kept walking.

The pain kept growing. Still slightly but he could. Maybe because he was staying very aware of it?

Probably.

He turned in a corridor, losing himself in the maze of those news paths, a lot being too different for him because of their news structures. There, he felt the pain stopping growing. Not vanishing because it was still there but it was just remaining a disagreeable burn. It was even soothing a bit.

He thought he was just getting used to it but, staying attentive, he was sure it had just calmed down…

Again, just a bit, not something much.

But he turned and walked in such a way that the burn grew again.

Each time the pain would disappear, he would do it again.

Slowly, he walked to the entry of the Castle not really knowing what he was doing. Just that he was walking. And as he did, as the burn became stronger and stronger, it was also… sweet to him. That powerful heat made disappear every other pain, giving him a feeling of being hugged, welcomed.

He kept moving down the lower part of his old shirt, trying to make disappear the new X under the thin black layer. In return, the burning part of his skin kept showing. It was glowing, casting rays that marked his skin slowly…

He didn’t feel the need to hide that.

Pace after pace, he felt more and more unease melted with fear but also happiness…

He turned in a corridor and his Heart stopped from beating for a second. A long second. A second where it was like the World had stopped living. Where all he could see was his favorite colors, red and green, and the most beautiful smile he had never seen in his entire life. A smile so pure and powerful that the owner’s eyes sparkled with starlight…

“Isa!”

The time took over its right when Isa felt the warm of two hands in his cheeks. And in the eyes that were observing him, he saw even more joy… A powerful joy that made him smile even if he didn’t plan too, especially not with the guilt and doubt nested in his guts.

“Lea. You… You look fine!”

“I’m fine. I’m finer than ever. And just look at your eyes. They’re so beautiful.”

“My… eyes? What’s happing with them?”

“They’re turquoise. Mostly turquoise.”

But Lea was still smiling, saying this to him.

“They… They are?” he muttered.

“Yes.”

Isa blinked and wished he could see his eyes now but instead, he moved his fingers to his ears and brushed them. They weren’t spiky anymore. Not so much…

When he looked down, he noticed that Lea’s shoulder was gleaming too. Though it was hard to see it through the hard leather of his coat. The light was just slightly appearing from a gap in the deep cleavage of his coat.

“I’m sor…”

“You don’t have to,” Lea cut short.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Isa insisted. “I’m sorry to have been against you. I’m sorry to have died in your arms. I’m sorry for every mistake I made. I wanted to do what was the best for us but I failed. And I’m sorry for that too.”

Lea shook his head.

“You don’t have to apologize. You were trying your best. I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Isa said. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I did everything wrong. First… I shouldn’t have left without you. Being away from you was the worst,” he said in a whisper. “I can’t forgive myself for what you had to live. Alone.”

He pressed slowly, tenderly, his forehead against his, caressing his cheeks with his shaking thumbs.

“I was so afraid for you.”

“I’m here, Lea. I don’t mind about what I have to pass through forasmuch as I’m here. With you. I…”

He looked down this time though the beams casting by their shoulders, sometimes melting, could distract him.

His lips moved but he couldn’t whisper the words, worry.

“Isa…”

Lea moved slightly his head up to him. His eyes were so soft, inviting him to talk.

“Do you still love me?” he wondered under his breath.

“Can I only stop for one second?” Lea replied. “I loved you, I love you and I’ll love you forever.”

He lowered his arms and hugged him tightly. Isa smiled tenderly, embracing him back. Their shoulders pressed against each other. The Light grew from Isa’s skin but also Lea’s thought you couldn’t see it much.

“Ah fuck,” Lea let out as it was burning him.

But not as the same way as Isa. It was burning by the cold…

They moved just a bit from each other. The skin of Isa was now marked by a shining red Sun reminding Lea’s hair. With a shaking hand, Isa pushed the coat and, at the same exact area than him, though it was on the right shoulder. There, you could see a Moon. A blue crescent Moon with tiny sparks around.

“I thought they were gone…” Isa said, brushing the skin.

This tattoo… These tattoo, they had done them when they were Nobodies, around nineteen years old. As a tender pact, as a bond they could never erase. A way to always have a part of the other with them.

“Nop. They’re here and…”

Lea pushed even down his hands to lift him by the thighs.

“Don’t do th…”

Isa didn’t have the time to finish the sentence that Lea’s legs flinch under his lover’s weight. Isa just had the time to slide his hands under his darling’s head.

When they hit the floor, instead of moaning of pain, Lea burst in laugh. And when he laughed, Isa couldn’t help but laugh too. As their eyes met softly, Lea caressed his cheeks and moved his head to him. At this, Isa bent a bit more to him, their lips finding each other after such a long time.

Their tattoo touched again, as the same time as their lips, as if they were affirming their precious bond, swearing them a new life.

It was warm.

It was reassuring.

It was as sweet as their love.

**Author's Note:**

> The beautiful and awesome art has been made by @naotoosh_art ( https://twitter.com/naotoosh_art ) please, please, please, please throw them lot of love because my fanfiction is blessed by such awesome art!!!!


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